Monday, September 23, 2013

Anxiety is getting the best of me.  (I wrote this last week and I am feeling better Hot Yoga, an awesome 10 mile run, sleep, a moving message at church and a weekend with my family can change everything!)

School has started.  Extracurricular activities have started.  Lots of chauffeuring.  Add in the day-to-day routines and Jacob’s multitude of appointments and we have a stress cocktail.  I’m praying, running, biking and I’m eating clean (mostly).   I’m trying to take care of myself.  I’m trying to get in time to play with Gavin, talk with Jacob and Brie and have a conversation with my TD at least once every few days, but at the end of the day I feel lost in the craziness of our lives.  I am tired and sleep seems like distant memory, a past activity I once enjoyed.

So that’s the picture, how I’m feeling this afternoon and why I haven’t written an update lately.  Ginger, was my first paragraph considered complaining?  Guess I’m failing at that goal as well.  Moving forward...

Gavin started VPK and he is going to school every single day, 9-12, at Killearn Kids Preschool.  He loves it!!  They have a special class pet in his room, a ball python named Monty!!  Yes!  Gavin has held him.  I’ve seen the photos!!   The past few weeks, his class has been learning about the farm, the letters F and H, had a delicious farm breakfast, a visit from a horse name Montana and I’m pretty sure there’s a hayride in the near future.  Gavin is writing his name clearly and learning early math concepts.  He has weekly homework, too, that I’m positive the big kids did not have in pre-K.  Most importantly though, Gavin is learning that God made him wonderfully and loves him no matter what.  Devotion time is one of Gavin’s favorite daily activities.  He comes home singing songs of  praise about Jesus. 

Gavin also started Trousdell Jet and Superman gymnastics classes and CSA Skeeters soccer.  I wasn’t able to go to G’s first soccer practice, but TD said he did awesome.  He listened to his coach and was a force on the field.  That’s my little runner!!  I’ve probably mentioned this before, but G ran all four of the Gulf Winds Track Club Summer Trail Series one-mile races.  I look forward to seeing G practice soccer this week.  In fact, I’m passing up going to see Third Day, who I love, because G cares that I wasn’t at his practice and I don’t want him to feel that way again!  Gavin is the newest Trousdell Superman, the name of the four year old boy gymnastic class he is taking.  They did drills this week and hung on the rings.  I know that Gavin can’t wait to cross the monkey bars.  This class is going to make that happen sooner rather than later!  After Superman, Gavin and I went to the Mommy and Me Jets class.  It’s the same class we did over the summer and it’s more fun than instruction, though he did learn a few fundamentals.  Each class is only 30 minutes long, so I was trying to make an hour out of our trip to the gym.  It’s going to be a lot of fun and it does burn a lot of energy, thankfully. 

I guess I should mention that Gavin had his last two cavities filled this week, too.  Yes, it was somewhat embarrassing that my four year old had to have 5 cavities filled over the last two and a half years, but I've been told it isn't uncommon and isn't a reflection on how well we are brushing G’s teeth.  No, he doesn't drink juice either!!   Thank goodness for Care Credit too!  Just saying.

Who’s next?  Thomas, my love.  I want to give a huge shout out to my husband for completing his first triathlon and doing awesome in it.  Our goal was to finish in under 2:00 hours and he beat his goal by 20 minutes!!  It was a beautiful morning with our amazing family and friends and Ft. Desoto was the perfect place for us to compete.  TD is continuing to train in hopes to do another tri before the winter months, but nothing is set in stone yet.  TD also started a new job, which he loves.  He’s moved to the Capitol and is embracing his new position.  For those of you who don't know TD well, he is ridiculously smart, easily learns new things and could go anywhere and do any job.  I truly believe he is meant to do great things.  With that said, in 2005, when he graduated from FSU, he stayed in Tallahassee to be with us, with Jacob, Brie and me. He took a job at the state that didn't require travel and allowed him to be here to help me with Jacob's needs and for whatever the kids and I might need.  He has sacrificed many dreams and built new ones for the greater good of his family.  I'm really excited about TD's new position.  The State has been good to him and our family, but they are super lucky to have TD in my humble opinion.  

We recently joined an organic share group, Annie’s Organic Buying, and I am really enjoying seeing (and eating) what TD comes up with to utilize our organics.  We have had some interesting meals and I love it!!  For anyone who doesn’t know, TD is the chef in our home, and he is a darn good one!!  I should have known this nine years ago when he cooked for me the first time.  Yummy chicken parmesan.  Yes, I still remember!!

Should Jacob be last?  Nope.  Jacob is enjoying school.  This makes me so happy to write.  Being able to go off campus for lunch and seeing all of his friends are the main reasons, but I am excited to report Jacob is doing really well in Chemistry.  Yes, that is the big news of the day.  A “B” average in Chemistry is really something for him to be proud of and I am proud of him.  Ever since his schedule came in the mail over the summer, he’s worried about chem and geometry.  I don’t have the mid-9 weeks grade for geo yet, but I believe Jason would have texted me by now if there were any concerns. Jacob is taking culinary arts as well.  I can’t wait to see what he’s going to cook for us by year’s end!  We received the good news, too, that Jacob’s hearing hasn’t changed since August 2012.  It is extremely positive news that his left ear hearing is stable even though that tumor has grown!  I will be honest and say that significant hearing loss in his right ear would make his surgery next month a tad easier to swallow, since the surgery will leave Jacob deaf on the right side.  Maybe not easier, but it seems like it would. 

Surgery has been scheduled at Shands for October 22nd  with Dr. William Friedman and Dr. David Pincus.  I have really struggled (am struggling) with this surgery, the place, the doctors and the decisions that have come along with it, but I won’t go into details.  Just know that this is keeping me up at night and consuming much of my daily worries.  I know many of you have been faithfully praying over this for me.  I thank you.  I am patiently waiting to know we are in the place God wants us to be.  If God chooses not to share this with me, I do know that He will keep Jacob safe regardless. I will update my specific prayer requests when surgery gets closer. 

Update: Jacob and I met with his primary doctor on Friday to treat Jacob’s cold and to talk to her about the option of going to UVA with Dr. Asthagiri.  She has written a letter of referral to our health insurance.  I would really like for Jacob to have this surgery with his NF2 doctor.  It may not be possible, but I had to continue to try until all roads were exhausted.  I have nothing negative to say about Shands.  Dr. Asthagiri is Jacob’s NF2 doctor, naturally our first choice would be to go to him.  He has a different plan for surgery than Shands also and it is the procedure we prefer, if it is possible to have a preference regarding such a scary surgery.  Now we wait and continue to pray God put Jacob in the best medical teams hands. 

My beautiful Brie and I shared our first 5K!! A few weeks ago we participated in The Color Run Tallahassee.  We had so much fun.  I was joined with my running bestie, my fabulous MRTT ladies, my MOPS mamas (so proud of them!!) and Brie’s family from Georgia on her dad’s side.  It was the longest 5K of my running history (01:08), more of a walk, but the most fun for sure.  I was happy to have Brie with me and The Color Run is the happiest 5K on the planet J.  Brie’s sophomore year is in full swing.  She is taking upper level classes and seems to be working hard to keep up her normal “B” and above grades.  I know she is struggling in history though.  Everyone always anxiously anticipates progress reports, which will come home next week.  We shall see!! 

Last weekend was really exciting for Brie and for our family.  Brie won sophomore homecoming queen for Leon High School, and she was gorgeous!!  For a girl who self-proclaims to not have a lot of friends, she must have a few friends since the sophomore queen is elected by her peers.  No words can express how beautiful Brie was on the football field in front of all of our family and her school.  Leon won the game and Brie finished off weekend with the homecoming dance Saturday night. 

As for me, like I said in my first paragraph, I am keeping busy.  I am enjoying race season starting back up and excited about my first half marathon since March in Atlanta in two weeks with Tammy and lots of other MRTT mamas.  I’m loving riding my bike and really enjoyed my first triathlon last month.  It was really special to be able to do it with TD.  We are hoping to do Tri the Rez, but I’m not sure that is going to happen.  Origami Owl has been slow this month, but I have an event in October that I’m looking forward to getting out there and helping women tell their stories.  I am proudly working on filling 300 race bags for Grayson’s Tough As Nails 5K in November.  I’ve received great responses from vendors and seeing others generosity just warms my heart.  MOPS started back and I love the fellowship and friendships I have there.  I recently attended a new bible study group, which I think is really going to be good for me.  It’s a branch off from our running group, so I feel like God’s plan of bringing us all together is working out. Again, I’m worried about my daddy too.  He has been on a continuous health issue rollercoaster for the last 18 months.  Most recently had more tests done and his doctor once again believes he has leukemia.  He is headed back to the oncologist to hopefully get the care he needs this time!  I really need him to be ok!!  

So, there’s my update!  I edited this blog post this morning, I wrote it a week ago, and removed several things that have been heavy on my heart, but I think it is best to keep them private for now. Obviously if I kept putting off posting, I wasn’t ready.  I really just want to be thankful for my many blessings, give God the glory in all things good and bad and hand over my worries to Him!